An Anonymous Letter

It's way past my normal sleeping time, but I'm having these rambling thoughts again, and as irrelevant I tried to make you be in my life, your presense pervades my thoughts, and I can't keep you off my mind. When I had my go with you, I pushed you away. Namely for practical purposes, but as I'm reaching a point where that's starting to become irrelevant, I want you back in my life. Not as a lover, but as a friend. There are things I can share with you as a friend that I probably would shy away from, in the role of lover.

Hmm... role of lover... I'm surprised I would use those words, in that assortment... almost as if my true self isn't genuine enough; I have to make up these characters and personas, to satisfy the individual, or the mass populli.

Regardless, I want to deepen our friendship, that seems to be facading with each passing day. No ulterior motiffs, I just want to have fun. You made me laugh. And I dearly miss laughing. I've had to amuse myself my whole life pretty much, in order to keep myself sane. The monotonous, day-to-day rituals are taking a toll on me, and I want out.

I thought I was going to write on forever, but the more I think of what I want to say to you, the more I see that it's unnessecary. Just know that I love you, and want to be friends.

in light and love,
luis miguel rivera