Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Oh Marianne, Pass Me The Joint

Hebbo, and Hello everyone. Today is 4/20, and although I won't be partaking in the pepper-yippy giddiness that happens on 4/20 this year, I know that some of you reading my blog might. So I'd like to share with you my favorite song from the new MGMT album. It's called 'Siberian Breaks'. The best way I can describe it as, a college-sounding experimental acid trip, GONE HORRIBLY RIGHT! It's lyrically blessed by his holiness, The Pope, himself, and most definitely deserves your attention. It runs a little over twelve minutes. So close your eyes, do whatever it is that you do, and immerse yourself in a world of mass euphoria. Now go deep-fry your brain in some caramel, and tell me how it goes :)

'Siberian Breaks' - MGMT

Sleep as the goer
the bridge that watches the light speed through
and cries while the spirit stumbles
the inside missile for the protection of you

maybe it's silent
the voice can't bear anymore, strain
but speak without even knowing
and streams outside, in the direction of truth

There's no reason, there's no secrets to decode
if you can't save it, leave it dying on the road.
Wide open arms can feel so cold,
so cold,
feel so cold.

Balance the books, the ledges, the loons,
the disappointed look on the faces
that squint at the moon.
Let's see it with shadows enhanced,
and then vote to decide who'll advance.
Silver jet plane, making a turn
exciting the brain that expects it to crash and then burn.
It's not the life lesson I'd've guessed,
if you're conscious you must be depressed,
or at least cynical...
but someone might still eat the steaks,
even if they're tough.
Spending the day,
chewing the fat.
Floating away isn't rough but it's not enough.
Oh Marianne, pass me the joint
The sandpaper's tan
go-getters are surfing the point,
and London's a scratch on the lens.
It's over before it begins.
Silk 'round her neck falls down to her shoulders,
the older I get, the more I suspect there's a trick,
but really there's no trip at all,
that doesn't result in a fall,
or a faltering...
but something could spit out the bait,
even if it's real.
Rolling away,
missing a spoke,
close to the ground like a wheel, but it's not a joke.
Holding the line,
clutching the phone,
nobly wasting the night, but it isn't right,
it's not right.
Smelling for blood,
praying for rain,
running away isn't rough, but it's not enough

The low tide is telling me, when it's over,
to breathe in everything exposed,
and comes back to cover me with a blanket.
Being here's always changing tunes

[ooh ooh]

[falling...]

The empty sky surrounds me, but I can't see at all...
Wide open arms can feel so cold...
and you can sit beside me, and tell me what it's worth...
but I hope I die before I get sold...
I hope I die before I get sold...
I'd rather die before I get sold...

If you find the soul that you lost,
frozen in a starry void,
take it within, and hope the sight of blood
can will signs of life to return...
back to the way that it was,
long before it made a noise,
to keep on quietly reminding you
what's never created or destroyed.

Wake as the swell peaks
the close-outs drowning the birds with roars
and howls scare the new unkindness
that picks and laughs at the carrion scene.

Forces you see breath can always go into hiding
and wait 'til it passes over
or stay far gone for all eternity...




ROBOT UNICORN ATTACK!!!

Have fun :)

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Thought I'd Never See, The Love You Found In Me

It's ironic, how I can love someone. Truly, wholeheartedly, with every fiber of my being. And the second I say it, the second I put it out there, it becomes a little less true, every time. I keep to myself, namely because, I'm afraid. Afraid that I can love someone, and mean it. I'm a great lover, but a horrible boyfriend. When I tried to think of a reason for why this is so, I came to the idea that the way I love, is unexpected. No one really sees it coming. No one really know where it goes. Not even me. When I'm in the role of boyfriend, a certain expectation is held. One that's plagued many. The expectation, that said lover, will love you. I figured this to be true, because that's exactly what I expect from someone that I love, that they'll love me back. I think the secret to truly experiencing love, is to remove that expectation. Just love. Love, love, love, with all your heart (or at least a sizeable portion :]), then that unexpected something, happens. People pick up on your vibes. No words have to be said. And the viral outbreak, that is love happens. Unexpected things happen when you love yourself. You've forgiven yourself, enough to let others forgive you, and show you their mercy. And to freely give that, without expectation, that's what it means to love. The way I worded it, probably made it sound a bit complex, but it really isn't. The whole thing can be summed up, in the quote I had in my last post. (It actually turned to a stray thought, which eventually led to what you're reading right now)


Even after all this time the sun never says to the earth, “you owe me.” Look what happens with a love like that. It lights the whole sky. ~Hafiz of Shiraz


Be that beacon of light. Be love. Love. That's it. People will love you, and if they don't, that's ok too, because you love them, and if you don't, that's ok too, because I'll love them for you :)

iloveyou



White Lily Laugh

The pace of my days are picking up. Days are turnings, to weeks, are turning to months. I'm doing things again. I'm getting out. I'm living out. For a good long while, it felt as if I was confined to the likes of my own silly odd thoughts. Everyday seempt like I was in my own little world, and all the people in it were part of some elaborate story I conjured up. To my dismay, and ironically fortunate, it was all real. All of it. Except me. Sometimes, I'm not fully there. Like right now, I honestly don't know where I'm going with this, but I'm just letting my thoughts ramble on, until they makes sense. I tend to do that a lot. I'll be at work, and my mind will just start having a conversation with itself, and every once in a while I'll answer out loud or something, and Chris Lee will be like,'What did you say?', and out of some silly guilt, I'll play it off, or quickly devise a ruse to distract. For instance, I was having thoughts to myself about how girls can pretty much get away with anything that they want, and that they don't realize how much power they truly have. So I blurted "Man, I wish I was a girl!". And I got looks from the people at my place of work, like 'Okay, then', none-the-less, I had an interesting time explaining that one.

Even after all this time the sun never says to the earth, “you owe me.” Look what happens with a love like that. It lights the whole sky. ~Hafiz of Shiraz


I looove that quote!

I've actually started having new thoughts, that I won't share today, I'll save it for tomorrow's post. Which I'll be starting as soon as I publish this.

So hosh, bosh, Macintosh.

love, luis


"Until next time, take care of yourselves and each other" - Jerry Springer

Monday, April 12, 2010

An Ode to Victoria Justice

Today my life has changed. I went in my sisters room, because I had clothes in their. The Nickelodeon channel just so happened to be on, and my sister was watching it. I happened to glimpse at the screen, and just seen the most beautiful, and stunning girl in the world. There was a commercial on, for The Big Help, which is some kind of award that Nickelodeon gives every year. Well anyways, I seen her, and immediately fell in love. Really I did!

I was like, WHO IS THAT!?!?!

And my sister, knowing her Nickelodeon fairly well, told me her name was, Victoria Justice. I've only known about her for a couple hours, and I just finished watching the first episode of her show Victorious, but boy, I feel like, I've known her forever. The universe is definitely on my side, with this one.



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Casual Dementia

I have rambling thoughts at 2:51 in the A.M., that are keeping me up, so I figured, I'd play some MGMT, and start writing. If there was ever a time that I really needed to be writing a blog, I think it would of been during my time in California. Just my head, was literally in another place. When you spend the majority of your time alone, you have conversations with yourself. I was, still am, my own therapist. I do remember feeling stuck at times, but that's to be expected. After my brother past away, I remember having to kind of just shut down that little voice in my head, the one that helps me make conscious choices, and instead of getting the next plane ticket out of there, to be with my mother in her time of grief, I selfishly stayed there. No definite goal, or plan, just a feeling that I was where I had to be, at the time, oddly in sync. Even before I left, I went with a mother-load of guilt, namely because of Devin's tooth. Which I'm only now beginning to come around to taking care of. I already called him, and told him what I had planned in regards to that, so yeah. I am at a point right now in my life, were I'm righting a bunch of wrongs. I'm fixing a lot of the leaks and creaks in my cup. I titled this post 'Casual Dementia', because there are times in my life, where it certainly is much easier to forget your responsibilities. To stray a bit from your path, and wander. There's nothing wrong with that at all, just don't get lost.

And then, there was South America. I remember having the thought while I was on the phone with Sajan. Just at the time, we were so overwhelmed with reality, and the stress that comes along. It really just CAME to me. He was complaining, and stuff, about how we need to change our lives, and in a bold, size 72, Times New Roman font, I seen the words SOUTH AMERICA. I ran it past him, and the mental frenzy ensued. Some months pass, and the idea became less, and less plausible. But someday, we'll trip. Just not now. Now is not the time. When the urge comes again. When the feeling's right, we'll go. Not now. I think the idea of South America, as like the great escape, is why it appealed so much to me. I was feeling at a low point in my life, and with the lack of strong friends being around, that only quantified things.

When I came back, it was overwhelming even then. I felt rushed. And riding on that wave, I just partied hard. And in it's own way, that was therapeutic. I had just crazy amounts of emotional baggage, and feelings that I'd been holding in since forever, and then was the most perfect time to release it. Definitely not all of it, but a great majority.

Part of the reason, I haven't been writing, in a good while, is simply because I just don't have a reason to. Back then, when I had all that on my mind, that was quite literally months, and years, of just stored baggage that I had to rid from some of the more darker crevices in my head.

And then I remember losing my mind. I was Donnie Darko.



That was a particularly interesting time. My dreams, had a way of blending with my reality, and where one would drop off, the other would pick up. The worst part was trying to explain it all. I had a particularly interesting episode, where I was aware of this, and so what I did, was I wrote in my blog. Just everything. I could say I easily wrote for like five hours, and then I wake up. And I'm with Michael Lamb, and I think he was on a date or something with Amanda Reedy, at the beach. And I was just OUT OF it. I had woken up in such a random situation, just I thought I was dreaming then. I called Sajan, see if he could make sense of my situation, and he was no help.

Interesting times to say the least.

kay, sleepy time now. goodnight.
love, luis.

Thursday, April 01, 2010