Of Intimacy, and Privacy: Part 2

I'm not sure if anyone noticed, but I'm tweaking with the look and feel of the blog, so expect small changes here and there. Also, I no longer have an account on MySpace. Today, I had plans to go to the PostSecret talk over at USF, but I didn't do my homework, and I actually went to the wrong campus. Right now I'm at Amanda Reedy's house, writing this post. So I am not in the most ideal of conditions to begin my writing, but I will try my best.

Em, right now I am just kind of taking everyday as it comes to me. When I get home, my mother is going to give me the news, that she is about to lose her job, and that I should really do better with my efforts in my job search, whilst she figures out how to handle this loss. But as with every loss, there is opportunity, somewhere. My only hope is that my heart is open enough to give, and receive any blessings that may come my way.

Last week, there was no food in the house, and my sisters and I had nothing to eat. I then remembered that I still had a gift card to Wal-Mart, that still had some money on it. So I took it upon myself to feed my family that night. When I got to Wal-Mart, the first thing that I did, was find out how much money was left on the card. It was $7.69, so I'm contemplating how to feed the family with this, and finish up the card. (It should be noted that at this point, I had absolutely no cash, and was completely reliant on whatever is on this card). So I get a dark thought. To steal. I pick up a SNICKERS bar, and I carry on to the food section. I figured that I would eat it inside the store, and throw the wrapper away. But I don't know. Something was telling me not to. So I find a good deal on some frozen pizza. 2 for $7, and since there is no tax on food, I still had .69 left to spend. Just as I am about to check out, I realize that I will not have enough for both the pizza, and the SNICKERS bar. I do the right thing, and I put it back, and get back in line. I had done the right thing, and I feel good now. In the corner of my eye, I noticed that there was a Butterfinger, for .64 cents. I thought this was a blessing from the Wal-Marts gods. Granted, it was no SNICKERS, but in my mind, this was my reward for doing the right thing, and not stealing the SNICKERS bar. As it turned out, there was a tax on the Butterfinger bar, and I ended up using the exact amount on the gift card with no change. I left Wal-Mart with just the greatest feeling in the world. And it sounds like a silly story, but I really did feel amazing. I felt so good, that I didn't want to share it with anyone. I didn't tell my sisters when I got home, because I felt it would take away from the magic of the moment.

But now, I am sharing this with you. Because, it smoothly transitions into this next part. I've always been a believer of miracles. And what I'm about to say, is becoming more and more cliche, but, things really do turn out for the best, and highest good. I mean, there are several paths that I could have taken in my past, but I wouldn't change them for a thing. All these things happening to me, are changing me. Life demands one to be flexible, and dynamic. The challenges ahead, are but stepping stones. Even though the future is unforeseen, and unpredictable, I'm forging ahead.



"If what they say is true, You are a shadow in the fourth dimension..." - MGMT

~~~

Once again, I've lost my mojo, and I'll have to continue this later on

~~~

Well, my world is crumbling, but somehow it doesn't phase me at all. Maybe this little cheerful song has something to do with it.



"2 Atoms In A Molecule" - Noah And The Whale

"Last night, I had a dream
We were inseparably entwined
Like a piece of rope made out of two pieces of vine
Held together, holding each other
With no one else in mind
Like two atoms in a molecule
Inseparably combined

But then I woke from the dream
To realize I was alone
A tragic event, I must admit
But let's not be overblown
I'm gonna try to ride a love song
Just a sad, pathetic moan
And maybe I just need change
Maybe I just need a new cologne

But now I look at love
Like being stabbed in the heart
You torture each other from day to day
And then one day you part
Most of the time it's misery
But there's some joy at the start
And for that, I'd say it's worth it
Just as you play the shortest sharp on me

And if love is just a game
Then how come it's no fun?
If love is just a game
How come I've never won?
I guess maybe it's possible I might be playing it wrong
And that's why every time I roll the dice
I always come undone"

I think anyone in my shoes would panic, and fret, and be hasty with their thoughts and decisions. I, however, have the luxury of patience, and a sense of clarity, so I'll be trying my best these next couple weeks. Keep me in your thoughts, and prayers.

With Love, Luis

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"If you enter this world knowing you are loved and you leave this world knowing the same, then everything that happens in between can be dealt with." - Michael Jackson

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Who is Peter Joseph?

For those of you not familiar with the film "Zeigeist: Addendum", I highly recommend watching it. This is a miniature documentary on Peter Joseph, the director of both Zeitgeists films.



My favorite quote:

"There are a great number of people out there, that know something is wrong. But they do not understand the source of that wrong-ness, because they are inside the box of indoctrination....People are locked into a box, they see the box surround them, they see the leaks, and the holes, and the cracks, and they go up to the cracks, and they try to fix them. They try to patch the holes. But they don't stop to think, that maybe there is something wrong with the box itself. Maybe the integrity of the box that they exist in is inherently invalid, it's inherently void..."





Well I hope you enjoy this :)

With Love, Sir Luis Miguel Rivera

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There is story of a sage who was once asked to curse another man. He was told that the person in question was evil and wanting to hurt everyone that came his way. The sage replied, "instead of cursing him, wouldn't it be easier to bless him so that he'll be able only to see the Light? If he can only see the Light, the rest will be taken care of, won't it?"

Today, bless the people you want to curse. You can't fight darkness with darkness. Fight it with Light.

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Thoth, The Enlightened One

Today I just seen a documentary about an enlightened being, Thoth. He is a street performer. His story is one of expressing that personal freedom we all yearn for. I wish and hope to meet this man one day, and watch him perform. I implore you to watch this documentary film. In many ways, he reminds me of myself, and my personal struggle. Without further ado:



His website is skthoth.com

PS- Many thanks to Josh Groban for forward this to me, via his Twitter feed.

With Love, Luis.

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How many times do we put ourselves on mute to people? There they are - ready to help but we can't hear them, or refuse to see that we are blocking them.

Conversely, when people need our help, we sometimes say we're too busy or we can't, and we mute out the Light and wisdom that we could have received from sharing.

Today, turn the volume up. Let people into your life and be willing to enter theirs.

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Of Intimacy, and Privacy: Part 1

Many apologies for this past month. It's seriously been a lull in my writing. Every once in a while I have a very strong creative urge, and I think I'm having one right now, so I want to write as much as I can before it goes away.

Yesterday, I turned 19. And the only plans I had for the day were with my Dad. He took me out to lunch, and we discussed politics¹, and what-not. I learned that he was my age that I am right now, when I came along into this world. And that really says something. I feel extremely grateful, and extremely fortunate. On the ride home when he took me back home, he gave me a really good talk. I felt the love coming from his voice. And now I understand. My father is looking out for my well being. He wants me to grow up with a conscious. He wants me to be a person of integrity, of honor. Someone you can count on to tell you the truth. And among the many things I inherited from my father, this is by far his greatest gift. My dad wasn't always around growing up, but even back then I had a sense of what it meant to side on the ways that would bring light into your life. "You reap what you sow" he tells me. The past couple months I've been pretty careless with my behavior, especially around the company of my friends. Not careless enough, that it would be an ongoing thing, but careless enough, that I am beginning to feel the repercussions of decisions I made long ago.

[¹] When I say politics, I'm speaking figuratively, not literally.
~~~

Earlier today, I had a vison/understanding, and although it wasn't entirely clear, there is certainly a reason I had the thought. I was wondering what one of the reasons for my spending time in California was, and that's when it hit me. I was there to avoid a most certain death that would of happened had I stayed in Florida. I had a strong feeling that had I stayed, I would of been in a severe accident, and been lost before my time. I don't like to think about it.

~~~

And perhaps this may just be my quirkiness, or my approach to life, but I feel great, unimaginable potential residing within me. What exactly I don't know. But I do feel as if I am destined to something greater than the common human experience would allow. And that's why I think that I needed to start a blog. For the most part I consider myself a very private person. I won't lie to you if you asked me a question of personal nature, but I don't go touting about my thoughts and feelings to the average nay-sayer either. So to kind of break past my own wall a little, and start a blog, and share my inner most deep feelings, that took significant effort on my part.

I knew that it had always been something that was in the back of my mind, and it's definitely something that I want to continue doing. It wasn't till I seen the movie, "Julie, and Julia", that I really wanted to be serious about it.

I feel the change, and to share that is a beautiful thing. If you are reading this, consider yourself a very lucky person.

I've gotten distracted, and lost my mojo. I will continue this, later.

~~~



I've seen what could be the most bizarre film I've seen to date. It's called The Holy Mountain. To be honest, I can't even explain it. I was going to post snapshots of it, but I'll save it for another post. It is truly bizarre.

Tomorrow morning I'll be volunteering for Habitat for Humanity, so I do want to wake up early. I'll continue my thoughts, because, I did want to speak of important things.

Salame.

Love.
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The reason we feel stuck sometimes is we want so little. We get cautious as we get older and we learn to play things safe. We forget to dream.

Today, shake things up! Do something you normally wouldn't do. When you start moving and getting out there, things will really start happening.
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Penis, Liten

This is the story of Daniel. Daniel is Norwegian.

Elegant Cars, and Fun

Today I seen what could easily be the funniest movie, I've seen in my life yet. It's "Monty Python's: The Meaning of Life". This bizzare roller coaster of a movie, has no real set plot, but all throughout it pokes fun at all the different situations in life. The film then proceeds to tear them apart, and reconstruct them in a very warped fashion.

It'll be my birthday on Thursday. I'll be having lunch with my father. So I have that to look forward to. As of late, I'm deeply infatuated with the band Empire of the Sun, and spent the majority of last night hypnotizing myself with their videos. I have a particular fondness for the following two:

"Standing On The Shore"

and

"Without You"


If I had to compare the musical styles of MGMT to Empire of the Sun, I'd say that MGMT, is going for that electro-indie-rock feel, whereas Empire of the Sun, is more of the electro-glam-rock feel. Either way, both of them are lyrical geniuses, and I love their stuff. Keep up the good work.

Well I have to hurry up and post this, because I'm on Michael Lamb's laptop, and he's almost done, so sayanora! Til next time!

Goodnight.

With Love, Luis.
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Why is it that clarity comes AFTER we take the risk?

Today, don't wait for 100% clarity to act. Go with your gut and let your heart's voice guide you the rest of the way
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Season Cinco!

Now that I have internets back online, I can check my sites.

OMIGOD I CAN'T WAIIIITTT!!!!

Can't Check My Sites!

Right now I feel like Tim Heidecker. I've been without internet in the house for a couple days now, and I can't check my sites. Now it's your problem!

Eucalyptus: I & II

So I had lots of fun last night. I was at the parade in Ybor, it lasted forever. Now I'm kind of just tired, and waiting for the afternoon, for the Super Bowl. There is just something about free food that makes it taste so much better than food paid for. I know it's not just me, Devin feels the same way :)

Tomorrow, I'm going to put in an application to Whole Foods Market, in Sarasota. I was at the house we are moving to in a couple weeks, and it's nearby, so I think it'd be a fitting choice, and a smart one. I wouldn't mind staying there, and growing with the company if I had to. ie, I wouldn't feel stuck.

So I've been listening to a lot of "Empire of The Sun". I'm finding myself quite engrossed, and captivated by their music. At first I found them annoying like MGMT, but now, it's like they are perfect.

I would write more, but I'm not thinking straight.

~

Sometimes I swear I forget that I have a blog. Tomorrow should be rather eventful. I get to take a test to see if I qualify for taking the 2010 US Census. It's a paid job, and I guess I have to count people or something. Wish meh luck.

Goodnight.

Love, Luis

PS- Valentine's Day is approaching, yet I feel no compulsion to score a girlfriend by then. weird, maybe.


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Connecting to the 99%. Plato called it, "divine madness." Mozart described it as, "a rush." Our moms called it, "a mother's intuition." Your Aunt Rose termed it her, "sixth sense." Successful business people call it, "gut instinct."

Think about how you describe connecting to a higher realm. Do you recognize it when a connection takes place in your life? Look for it today.
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Not a Double Post

Many apologies for the doubling up on posts these past couple times. It's just I haven't been stable enough to completely finish one, and by the time I get back to it, it's too late, and most likely no longer relevant.



kay goodnight

Down For Everyone, Or Just Me?

Much Love,

Luis

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Violence in the world is not aimless chaos. Terrorism is not random madness.
Earthquakes are not acts of God. All these negative phenomena are created when our collective reactive behavior creates chaos.

Grasping this difficult truth is the prerequisite to effecting true change.

If this rings true, then consider how your behavior today can positively impact the world.
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So Stupid, Those Things I Do / FWD: Existential Strangers - Depression

I actually meant to post this a couple days ago, but circumstances got the best, and would not allow. These past couple of days have mostly been a blur, and the only evidence that any of it really happened, is my aching body.

Tuesday morning, I wake to realize that I missed my ride to Bradenton via my sisters. I was going to catch up with Sajan, because he was in town. So I proceed to "check my sites", like I do most mornings, and I get a link to this video. After watching it, I was motivated to not let fate get the best of me. I was going to meet up with Sajan one way or another. I eat a good breakfast, and make my way out. I end up running 7 miles (early I thought it was 6.5, but I just checked), barefoot, in the rain, no shirt. After a while, you don't even remember that you're running. Seriously, thank you Survivor, for making the most amazing song ever. I kept playing Eye of the Tiger in my head, to keep my spirits up.

The next day, Sajan and I run on the beach, like the good ol' days. There is just a certain calamity, and perfectness about walking back, and just hearing the water play tug-a-war with the shore. The birds, doing their thing. I belong to the beach.

~~~

For these past couple days I've been at the mercy of people's generosity, and have restored my faith in humanity. People are really nice, especially when you need them to be. Wednesday Devin ran out of gas, and so we made some phone calls, and Aileen Clever came to rescue us! Not only that, she treated me to noodles and nuggets later on that night, so I am very grateful for that. She has a blog, you can check her out at AILEEN'S WARPED MUSINGS.

~~~

This was the other post that I meant to finish, and put up the other day, but whatevs. It's here below

~~~

So I've been following these two girls on the internet. By some chance, I found Nina Jankovic on Vimeo, and she later forwarded me to her Youtube page. She used to have some poetry that I really enjoyed on Vimeo. Anyways, a couple weeks later I hear that she is starting a new channel with Sofia, called "Existential Stangers", the idea being they've never met in person before, but the both of them would share a thought provoking page on Youtube none-the-less. Well anyways, I've been watching all their videos, and following them on their blog, and I want to share with you their most recent post, because I found it rather intriguing, because it deals with depression, something that is relevant to mineself, and many people I know. Without further ado:

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Sapolsky on Depression



I've been watching a few lectures, and i found this one particularly interesting not only because i had a special lecture at university on depression but also because i feel somewhat intrigued about the complexity of this condition. It has been associated with a chemical imbalance in the brain, mainly of neurotransmitters such as seratonin and dopamine (which are main inducers of feelings of well-being and emotional stability). The lack of these neurotransmitters in particular areas of the brain has decreased the amount of synapses which decreases the activity of the 'happy condition'. So, pharmaceutical companies have come up with the so called anti-depressants (ex: Prozac) to try to preserve as many neurotransmitters as possible, in the synpatic cleft, to increase the firing rate of the synapses. The problemo here is that it ...[Continue Reading]
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My current situation, I am sleeping in a house I'm not welcome to. My sister has made it her sole mission in life to treat me horribly, and leave me in the streets. I only wish her the sincerest love from my heart...

As for my job situation, I'm looking outside, and it's raining, I think it's time for a run :) I need inspiration.

HOPE LOVE HOPE LOVE HOPE

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Certainty doesn't mean we get what we want. It means we get what we need in order to further our transformation. It means knowing our reaction is what is important and not the results. It means accepting responsibility by seeing that the rotten stuff comes from having planted a negative seed at some time in our past.

In what ways do you blame others for what happens to you? When will you accept responsibility?
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