Em, right now I am just kind of taking everyday as it comes to me. When I get home, my mother is going to give me the news, that she is about to lose her job, and that I should really do better with my efforts in my job search, whilst she figures out how to handle this loss. But as with every loss, there is opportunity, somewhere. My only hope is that my heart is open enough to give, and receive any blessings that may come my way.
Last week, there was no food in the house, and my sisters and I had nothing to eat. I then remembered that I still had a gift card to Wal-Mart, that still had some money on it. So I took it upon myself to feed my family that night. When I got to Wal-Mart, the first thing that I did, was find out how much money was left on the card. It was $7.69, so I'm contemplating how to feed the family with this, and finish up the card. (It should be noted that at this point, I had absolutely no cash, and was completely reliant on whatever is on this card). So I get a dark thought. To steal. I pick up a SNICKERS bar, and I carry on to the food section. I figured that I would eat it inside the store, and throw the wrapper away. But I don't know. Something was telling me not to. So I find a good deal on some frozen pizza. 2 for $7, and since there is no tax on food, I still had .69 left to spend. Just as I am about to check out, I realize that I will not have enough for both the pizza, and the SNICKERS bar. I do the right thing, and I put it back, and get back in line. I had done the right thing, and I feel good now. In the corner of my eye, I noticed that there was a Butterfinger, for .64 cents. I thought this was a blessing from the Wal-Marts gods. Granted, it was no SNICKERS, but in my mind, this was my reward for doing the right thing, and not stealing the SNICKERS bar. As it turned out, there was a tax on the Butterfinger bar, and I ended up using the exact amount on the gift card with no change. I left Wal-Mart with just the greatest feeling in the world. And it sounds like a silly story, but I really did feel amazing. I felt so good, that I didn't want to share it with anyone. I didn't tell my sisters when I got home, because I felt it would take away from the magic of the moment.
But now, I am sharing this with you. Because, it smoothly transitions into this next part. I've always been a believer of miracles. And what I'm about to say, is becoming more and more cliche, but, things really do turn out for the best, and highest good. I mean, there are several paths that I could have taken in my past, but I wouldn't change them for a thing. All these things happening to me, are changing me. Life demands one to be flexible, and dynamic. The challenges ahead, are but stepping stones. Even though the future is unforeseen, and unpredictable, I'm forging ahead.
"If what they say is true, You are a shadow in the fourth dimension..." - MGMT
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Once again, I've lost my mojo, and I'll have to continue this later on
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Well, my world is crumbling, but somehow it doesn't phase me at all. Maybe this little cheerful song has something to do with it.
"2 Atoms In A Molecule" - Noah And The Whale
"Last night, I had a dream
We were inseparably entwined
Like a piece of rope made out of two pieces of vine
Held together, holding each other
With no one else in mind
Like two atoms in a molecule
Inseparably combined
But then I woke from the dream
To realize I was alone
A tragic event, I must admit
But let's not be overblown
I'm gonna try to ride a love song
Just a sad, pathetic moan
And maybe I just need change
Maybe I just need a new cologne
But now I look at love
Like being stabbed in the heart
You torture each other from day to day
And then one day you part
Most of the time it's misery
But there's some joy at the start
And for that, I'd say it's worth it
Just as you play the shortest sharp on me
And if love is just a game
Then how come it's no fun?
If love is just a game
How come I've never won?
I guess maybe it's possible I might be playing it wrong
And that's why every time I roll the dice
I always come undone"
I think anyone in my shoes would panic, and fret, and be hasty with their thoughts and decisions. I, however, have the luxury of patience, and a sense of clarity, so I'll be trying my best these next couple weeks. Keep me in your thoughts, and prayers.
With Love, Luis
"If you enter this world knowing you are loved and you leave this world knowing the same, then everything that happens in between can be dealt with." - Michael Jackson
Your story hit home with the whole synchronicity philosophy which I've been living by lately.
ReplyDeleteHere's a post I wrote over a year ago. I think it must have been after some meditative time.
"Why You Are So Important
Amid the vast improbability of gases and elements in space grouping together in a cohesive order to create substance and biological forms, here you are. As consciousness, as life, you are the recipient of a unique experience; a singularity of perception that exists against incomprehensible odds. This is the gift of Life. Because of this simple fact, you are endowed with the same powers of the creator, which you are but an extension of. Your consciousness molds the world around you, whether it is Love or fear acting as your primary motivating force. Therefore, each of us carries a much greater responsibility for creating a pleasant experience in this reality than many would be willing to admit."