Yesterday, I turned 19. And the only plans I had for the day were with my Dad. He took me out to lunch, and we discussed politics¹, and what-not. I learned that he was my age that I am right now, when I came along into this world. And that really says something. I feel extremely grateful, and extremely fortunate. On the ride home when he took me back home, he gave me a really good talk. I felt the love coming from his voice. And now I understand. My father is looking out for my well being. He wants me to grow up with a conscious. He wants me to be a person of integrity, of honor. Someone you can count on to tell you the truth. And among the many things I inherited from my father, this is by far his greatest gift. My dad wasn't always around growing up, but even back then I had a sense of what it meant to side on the ways that would bring light into your life. "You reap what you sow" he tells me. The past couple months I've been pretty careless with my behavior, especially around the company of my friends. Not careless enough, that it would be an ongoing thing, but careless enough, that I am beginning to feel the repercussions of decisions I made long ago.
[¹] When I say politics, I'm speaking figuratively, not literally.
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Earlier today, I had a vison/understanding, and although it wasn't entirely clear, there is certainly a reason I had the thought. I was wondering what one of the reasons for my spending time in California was, and that's when it hit me. I was there to avoid a most certain death that would of happened had I stayed in Florida. I had a strong feeling that had I stayed, I would of been in a severe accident, and been lost before my time. I don't like to think about it.
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And perhaps this may just be my quirkiness, or my approach to life, but I feel great, unimaginable potential residing within me. What exactly I don't know. But I do feel as if I am destined to something greater than the common human experience would allow. And that's why I think that I needed to start a blog. For the most part I consider myself a very private person. I won't lie to you if you asked me a question of personal nature, but I don't go touting about my thoughts and feelings to the average nay-sayer either. So to kind of break past my own wall a little, and start a blog, and share my inner most deep feelings, that took significant effort on my part.
I knew that it had always been something that was in the back of my mind, and it's definitely something that I want to continue doing. It wasn't till I seen the movie, "Julie, and Julia", that I really wanted to be serious about it.
I feel the change, and to share that is a beautiful thing. If you are reading this, consider yourself a very lucky person.
I've gotten distracted, and lost my mojo. I will continue this, later.
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I've seen what could be the most bizarre film I've seen to date. It's called The Holy Mountain. To be honest, I can't even explain it. I was going to post snapshots of it, but I'll save it for another post. It is truly bizarre.
Tomorrow morning I'll be volunteering for Habitat for Humanity, so I do want to wake up early. I'll continue my thoughts, because, I did want to speak of important things.
Salame.
Love.
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The reason we feel stuck sometimes is we want so little. We get cautious as we get older and we learn to play things safe. We forget to dream.
Today, shake things up! Do something you normally wouldn't do. When you start moving and getting out there, things will really start happening.
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