The Box, The Hole, and A Way Out...

Something quite peculiar, dare I say, very strange is happening. I just got done watching a movie that came out last fall. It is called "The Box". I remember stumbling upon their promotional site, youaretheexperiment.com, and I was intrigued. It was so vague. Then I remember watching the trailer, and being turned off, and unimpressed. Well I gave the movie a shot, and I must say, I was moved. It's a mystery, and a creepy one at that. I highly recommend it.

So yesterday I was working on the old music video that I did with Sajan, what I did was I shortened it down to the point where it is watchable, and enjoyable. I've been trying to upload it since yesterday to Youtube, but they have been failing me. If I can manage to get it on the internets, I'll tweet it. So I guess, keep an eye on my Twitter feed :|

I AM STILL NOT ON A NORMAL SLEEPING PATTERN.

Which I fear will dramatically affect my health if I don't do anything about it. I woke up today at 6pm, after I went to sleep at 12pm. I am spending a lot of time by myself, and I think I might not be using it as wise as I could be.

Sorry my last post was so lame. I am using a regular keyboard now, for the time being. Dvorak will have to be something I master gradually.



I began writing that yesterday, so to continue on that thought before I start another tangent, the Augustana music video "I Still Aint Over You", I cut it up, and finished it. And it's live on the internets.



So I think putting it on Youtube will give the video new life. It got 11k hits on Vimeo, but am much more hopeful toward the Youtube crowd.

Onward, it's probably my very disturbed sleeping pattern, but I am losing my sanity. It's little things. I've made the conscious effort to stabilize, and try to make sense of it all, but the day to day dealings of life are putting spins in my head. No I'm not high or anything, but that may help :|

I'm having a hard time believing that events are unfolding in my life, in the manner that they are. Or really my dreams. I know that dreams are messages from the unconscious trying to get at me, but as of late, I am ignoring them. They are getting very bizzare. I dare even say more bizzare than they were when they were in California. But after I got into the cycle of working my ass off everyday, and keeping myself busy, the dreams returned to their less bizzare state. I want a distraction, but can't follow through because I know that it will lead to eventual dissatisfaction. I'm lost. I'm lost inside of mine own self, and I don't know how to find my way. This isn't poetry, this is my life.

I haven't been fully honest. Mainly with myself, and what my expectations are. I made an outline, but even that is a distraction. It's like it's there to remind me of my lack of success: failure. I avoided using that word, because I don't feel that way, but it certainly has crossed my mind, more than once.

****

It's 3:02 and I don't feel the least bit tired. This isn't normal. This isn't healthy.

***

Tim and Eric have found permanent residency in my head, and I don't want to evict them just yet. This dry-spell I've been under is pretty bad. I've been waiting for their last season, and Tim and Eric's Billion Dollar Movie to come and go so that I can evict them, but then I also hear that they have not one, but two shows coming to HBO, and another spin-off show with one of the characters from the show. I'd like to place blame on their content, and say that they are the reason, for my weird thought processes, but I know it's deeper than any of that. Like Tim and Eric are just the vessel for me realizing it, but I can't place my finger on it. It's something so deeply intertwined with my subconscious that it'll be difficult to face it all. Let alone make sense of any of it.

My thought process for the past couple years has been as follows. Just randoms streams of voices, ideas, and thoughts come to me. Many of them are irrelevant or unnecessary to my current situation. So I've kind of had this "filter" that I've been training, to sort out the good ideas, and the good feelings, from the one's that were irrelevant. Somewhere along the way, this filter has changed the way I react or pro-act towards a given situation.

When I'm high, that filter is totally off, and I quite frankly do, say, feel whatever I want. Nothing to hold me back, at all. That stream of random ideas, thoughts, and feeling, all kind of rush to me at once. Like I've noticed that if I listen to music, or watch certain television, or eat, the experience is just sooooo much richer, because I don't have a "filter" telling me how I'm supposed to be feeling something. So it's like everything that I do, is from the perspective of someone totally foreign to a certain experience, even though I may have done it several times in the past.

**** Deep breath ****

My computer bugged out, so I had to restart it. And with updates that took a solid hour. I spent the time listening to the Oracular Spectacular album by MGMT, and I just realized its sheer perfection. In many ways I like them way more than Coldplay and Muse. It's just, every single song on the album naturally progresses to the next, and especially at this part of my life, the songs are all just, so moving, and aaaggghh, perfect is really the only way I can describe it really. They have another album coming out Congratulations, that I am really looking forward to.

Onward, to occupy my head, so that I don't go insane, I've been keeping up with the Late Night television scandal currently underway at NBC. In short, Leno at 10 isn't working, they want to put him back at 11:30, and move The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien, back to 12:05. Conan is like, no way, I'm staying at 11:30 or else I quit. It's all over Hulu right now. Jimmy Kimmel dressed up as Leno, and did his whole show like that, to make a mockery of it all. So it'll be interesting to see how it all turns out.

I've also been watching a lot of Carl Sagan's stuff. I appreciate and share his deep insight into his cosmic perspective on life. Seeing past the trivials of a modern era isn't an easy thing to do. Educate, inspire, and encourage all the same, is an even harder task. Especially now-a-days, when your media comes from a few major portals. I think that's why I am in frickin love with the Internet. There is just a certain, beautiful feeling you get, when someone can share their idea, with no filters, with the entire world. The variety of media, and information, is just so vast, no other format could possibly compare. The internet is changing people's lives everywhere, and this makes me so happy. I wish Carl Sagan would of been around for him to witness the Internet take off in the way it did in the late 90s through today. It makes me wonder what he would have to say about all of this. Here is a man ahead of his time.

And Carl lives on, Goodnight.

Did he deserve it?

Love, Luis
~Salame~

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Life is based on paradoxes. When we seek happiness for ourselves we receive chaos instead. Yet when we strive to make others happy, we ourselves receive happiness. The more we share with others, the more we receive.

This is the secret of happiness. Now you know. Live it today. Give when you want to take. Show mercy when you want to judge.

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