Friends: Amen, Forever and Ever

So once again, for the second or third day in a row, I have awoken to the beat of Michael Lamb at my door. Last night I wasn't able to go to sleep for I'd say about 6:30 in the morning. My sisters were starting their day, and I was ending mine. So Michael, has the nerve to wake me up at 10:30 in the morning. But he is my friend, and I have to answer the hopeless chap. Yet again, another futile day. We watched The Hangover (commentary later), Bruno (commentary later), and Jenifer's Body (commentary later).

Right now I feel, blankness.

Earlier in the day, when sir Michael wasn't here, I was seriously looking into Full Sail. For those who don't know, Full Sail, is like the uber shit, if you are going to make any kind of art, especially film.

Film is something that I am passionate about, and I see myself in that industry in the future. But my story, and my entry into there will be like none other. I have always been one to take the unnecessarily long way to getting to things.

It's like you can appreciate things quantuplified, when you put a lot of focus, and energy into it for a long time. For instance. When I left for Cali, in July, I knew it was going to be a suicide mission. I just knew it. The odds were never in my favor going in, or out.

I am not conventional. Even in the face of extinction, I will choose what feels right, more than the logical choice. To this day, I am still plagued with some of my paster decisions.

What if I had decided to become an athlete? What if I had decided not to purchase a Zune? What if I never became obsessed with Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job!? What if I never met Sajan Melcher? What if I would of decided to man up, and kiss the girl for god-sake? What if I never had my heart broken?

I can go on all day with this, but I actually do want to answer some of these.

If I had decided to become an athlete, chances are I wouldn't of been able to sign up for Television Production, in high school, which is when I absolutely fell in love with film, and being in that type of environment. Of course, I'd probably have more discipline, and would be in college with a job right now, but I'm sure it's a fair trade off. That lesson will come to me when I'm ready.

Had I not decided to purchase a Zune, I don't think I would of been able to fully realize the monopoly that Apple has in that industry. I've always been one to fight for the underdog, simply on the premise that the underdog deserves a voice too. I fell in love with the brand, and am absolutely loyal to it, and am semi-passionate about it.

Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job! really helped me get through a lot of my personal problems. It let me escape to a world where nothing was supposed to make sense, and every thing is to simply be accepted, just as it is. After Season 2, Tim and Eric were releasing a CD with most of their songs from the show. I had to have it, but couldn't. By pure chance, after vigorously searching the interwebs, I was exposed to my first torrent site, Demonoid.com . To say the least, torrents changed my life. And quite frankly made available to me, candid views that I don't think I would of been able to acquire by conventional means.

This one is a bit harder to conceive. To me Sajan, has always been there. Of all my friends, I can easily say that Sajan and I are the closest. I grew up with him, and will continue to. I can't answer this.

When I was five or six, I was in a daycare center, and back then there was a girl named Tina, she was a little older, but I fancied her a lot, and would always run to the swings first, that way I could offer them to her later on. Sharing food, or whatever to get her attention. Anyways, unbeknown-st to me, one fateful summer day, it was her last day at daycare. I of course didn't know this. We played a game of hide-and-seek that day, and she insisted on hiding in easy to find places, covered only with a blanket she had brought that day. I'd find her, and she'd hide again, in a ridiculously obvious place. The day was coming to an end, and we were still playing, just me and her. It was t-minus five minutes till she was to be picked up. We were under her blanket, and she said it, "Kiss me. I want you to just kiss me". It felt like the longest ten seconds of my life. I hesitated. I did not kiss her. And just like that, she left. In those ten seconds, that I was just looking at her with an astonished face, the only thing I was thinking was, "I can't do this, it's too easy". You see, in my head, even back then, I kind of always imagined that my first kiss would be, like after I don't know, I rescued a girl, or something that you'd see in the movies. It would be another 7 or 8 years that I'd have my first kiss, and I'm glad I waited. My first kiss was something magical. And I think that had I kissed the girl back when I was seven, it would have taken away from my magical real first kiss.

I say real, because, I just remembered. When I was in the first grade, there was an older black girl. Her name was Wendy. I didn't really fancy her, but she was pretty cool, even back then. Anyway she gives me her phone number, and insists that I call her, every night. And I did. Don't ask me what I spoke about, because I don't even remember. Well anyways, one day we are playing this game in music class, and it required that the girls run in one direction in a circle, and the boys run in opposite direction. Somehow, somewhere along the way, her lips make it to mine. We fell, and it hurt. She blamed it on me. And insisted to the teacher that I was trying to kiss her, which was not the case at all. I was suspended for three days. And she moved to Georgia, by the time I came back to school. So I never heard from her again. But I guess that was the very first incident where my lips, and a girls touched. Not sure I'd call it a kiss, because that wasn't my intention.

What are we talking about again?

Oh yes, had I never gotten my heart broken. I don't know. Maybe I would of had much of that certainty that I used to motto my life by. Especially when it came to love. I'd be much more experienced, probably. Having had open my heart open enough to be in many relationships. Many frivolous, and empty relationships, at that, but maybe I would have lost my virginity or something, and gotten the major confidence boost. I care too much, one of my many flaws. Girls seem to operate on a certain backwards logic, that defies me. Girls only pay attention to you if you treat them like shit. I don't get it. It's like, I prefer the mature, older girl type. But don't know many of them.

Someday, perhaps.

Tomorrow, will be a fine day. I am grateful to of had made it this far.

~Salame~

***commentary***
The Hangover-
Easily Comedy of the Year. Def worth watching over, and over.

Bruno-
Disappointed. It needed to be more gayer. And funnier. It's no Borat. Mildly worth watching.

Jeniffer's Body-
Lacked substance. But Megan Fox is pretty steamy. So I'd say a sold Six and a Half, our of ten.


***end of commentary***

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Just as it is important to believe in God, it's equally important to believe in yourself.

Today, own your greatness.

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